Ch. 9 Lily - A real Family

Today I came back to the main house to see Rosaleen and May have a water fight with the hose. They were having so much fun that August and I both joined in. June came out, grumpy as usual, and tried to pry the hose from my hands, but she ended up joining in the water fight too. I had so much fun. It almost felt like we were a real family :)

Ch. 8 Lily - a prayer

Tonight I prayed to the Black Marry statue, there's something that just feels so comforting about it. I prayed to Mamma too, I need all the help I can get, my insides are a mess right now. :(

Ch. 8 Lily - Longing

I went with Zach to the office of Clayton Forest today. While Mr. Forrest and Zach were talking in his office I spotted a picture of him and his daughter, they looked so happy, I wish my family had been like that...So feeling down, I did something stupid, I called him.

I can't believe I was stupid enough to do such a thing! He started yelling at me and demanding to know where I was. I asked him if he even knew what my favorite color was but wouldn't answer my question, I honestly doubt he knows. He threatened to hurt me when he found me, I hung up after that.

What have I done?

Ch. 8 Lily - Freedom

Today I helped August apply labels to the honey jars, we talked about all sorts of things.

One thing that stuck me in particular was when I asked why she had never married,she said she hadn't wanted to lose her autonomy. I think it would be nice if i could marry and still maintain my freedom. I wonder if that's really true, do you lose your freedom when you get married? 0.o

Ch. 6-7 Lily - A world of possibilities

I told Zach the other day that I wanted to be a write and today he brought me a journal to write my thoughts and stories in. He also said that society will never let us be together. I'm in love with him.
I've realized that story telling provides a way to get away from the harshness of reality, you are free from anyone else's control when writing. I'd like to write a story where Zach and I could be happy together. Perhaps if we wait long enough it will happen in real life too.

Ch. 6-7 Lily - Seperation

Rosaleen told me she's moving into the main house with May :( she says it'll make May feel more comfortable, but I'll miss her. I feel a little like she's abandoning me, even though I know she's not...

Ch. 6-7 Lilly - Getting to know Zach

Remember that boy, Zach, who August said would be helping with the bee farming? Well, I finally met him ~<3

He's a highschool junior, and he's African American, he wants to be a lawyer. He makes me feel things I've never experienced before, and I think I might have a crush on him. We've become good friends, working in the Honey house together.
I've started calling him an ass-busting lawyer as a nickname :)

Ch. 6-7 Lily - A Black Religion

Today I met for the first time the Daughter's of Mary, Augusts religious community. They're made up of six women and one man who wear these incredible hats, it kind of makes me laugh that there's a male daughter xD The service focused on the Black Mary statue and there was lots of singing and dancing and praying out loud. At one point, everyone took turns touching the painted heart of the statue, but when my turn came I was just so overwhelmed, I'd never experienced anything like this, that I fainted. It was kind of embarrassing...

Ch. 4-5 Lily - The racism in me

I never realized I was a racist too.
I'd always assumed that I was naturally smarter than African Americans, that they were all uneducated like Rosaleen, and that because I was white I was more intelligent, but then I met August and June. August is an educated business women, nothing like what I had thought blacks could be.

I'm starting to think that the color of your skin has nothing to do with your intelligence.

Ch. 4-5 Lily - Some Secrets are necessary

I've been thinking about it, and I've come to realize that lying isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes a secret is used to protect you, or someone else. I kept the box of Momma's stuff from T. Ray, he probably would have thrown it out if he'd known I'd had it, and then I never would have read the address on the back of Momma's picture and made my way to Tiburon. Like wise, I had to tell that lie to August, she might not have let me stay if she knew that I'd runaway from home and helped Rosaleen run from the law.
At the Boatwright house we also try to keep bad things that happen a secret from May, otherwise they'd hurt her.

So I've come to the conclusion that not all secrets are bad, and that sometimes, lying is necessary.

Ch. 4-5 Lily - Nostalgia

I can't help but wonder if T. Ray misses me even a little...I like the Boatwright house a lot, and I don't want to go back to Silvan, but I can't help but miss it a little, it is where I grew up after all.

Being around August has also made me think of my mother again,it's like her absence is wound that'll never close, I miss her terrible tonight. I guess I'm just feeling a little nostalgic tonight.

Ch. 4-5 Lily - Everyone wants to be loved

This Friday was wonderful :D August taught me all about honey farming. She told me that I should try to send my love to the bees, because everyone needs and whats to feel loved. I guess those, Bees are a little like me then.
She also told me that females make up the bee community about 90 percent of the time. Bees are so amazing, I never would have guessed that. I guess women can make up strong communities too:)

Ch. 4-5 Lily - Starting work

I'm told I'll be helping August and someone named Zach with beekeeping I'm really excited! It feels like those bees I captured in that jar what feels like forever go, were leading me here, like a glimpse of what was to come. It just feels right. I also feel better helping out, I don't want to impose on the sisters' kindness. Rosaleen is also going to be helping May with the housework.

Ch. 4-5 Lily - A Strange Household

I’m still getting used to living here. Life’s so different than it was with T. Ray. Remember how I told you I thought May was odd? She gets even stranger. She sings Oh Susanna whenever she’s upset, which is a lot of the time 0.o August explained that May has a “condition”, that she feels the pain of everyone else and the world as if it were her own, and so she’s usually very depressed. She even has her own wall, it’s a therapeutic crying wall. There was also a fourth sister named April, but she committed suicide, I wonder if maybe that’s impart why May’s so odd. They also practice a religion that’s part catholic part made up, one of the only big differences is that Mary is portrayed as an African American. Despite its oddities, I like this house, I feel at ease here.

Ch. 4-5 Lily - Feeling Self-conscious

It’s been a week since we started staying here, I’m feeling more than a little self-conscious about my skin color, I’ve even heard June make remarks about it. It’s odd being the only white person in the household. The News on TV is constantly talking about the desegregation happening all over the country, I’m happy, but it’s just another reminder of my race and the terrible things white people have done to blacks. Hopefully I’ll get over this soon. Has anyone else felt this way? Please leave your story's below :)

Ch. 4-5 Lily - The Start of Something Big!

I found the Boatwright house. It’s painted pink and Ms. August is a bee keeper. Three sisters live there. There’s August who’s really nice, June who seems a little harsh, and May who seems a little odd…

I lied to them and told them Rosaleen and I had runaway after my father had died in a tractor accident, I feel kind of guilty, and I think August may know I’m lying, but she offered to let us stay. I’m so excited! I can just feel this is the start of something big.

Rosaleen seemed a little irritated at me again.0.o

Ch. 2-3 Lily - A New Life, a Sign, and an Old Wound

I finally told Rosaleen, why we’re heading to Tiburon, we got into an argument and we parted ways. I hope she’s ok by herself. She said I didn’t think about her when I made this decision, but I was, I have no idea what she’s talking about! -I ran into Rosaleen again last night, we bathed in a river together, and it’s as if the water washed away all of our negative thoughts, our past lives. We’re no longer mad at each other.

Today I was looking for a sign, something to guide the beginning of our new lives. In a general store I noticed these honey jars with the same black Mary figure on them as the one in my mother’s picture. The clerk told me they belonged to a women named August Boatwright and that she lived on the other side of Tiburon. I’m going to seek her out. This was more of a sign than I could have asked. T. Ray was wrong, my mother is definitely watching out for me in heaven.

T. Ray hasn’t reported me missing yet in the papers, I wonder if he ever will? It’s a good thing that no one’s looking for us, but it still hurts…

Ch. 2-3 Lily - Confusion

I finally told Rosaleen, why we’re heading to Tiburon, we got into an argument and we parted ways. Now we're both walking around in the middle of a forest alone. I hope she’s ok by herself. She said I didn’t think about her when I made this decision, but I was, I have no idea what she’s talking about!

Ch. 2-3 Lily - A narrow escape and a hopeful destination

I went to the jail to break out Rosaleen, but then I found out those awful men had been let into the jail and had beaten her even worse than before. It seems I was right to be worried. I’m pretty proud of myself, I tricked the guard with a fake phone call and together we slipped out of the hospital. On an old picture of my mother there was a black Mary statue and Tiburon, South Carolina on the back, I’ve decided that’s where we’ll go. We’re hitch hiking on route 40 right now. I hope we’ll get there safely, I also hope Rosaleen doesn’t get mad when I tell her where we’re going…
Wish me luck!

Ch. 2-3 Lily - Escape

I'm worried about Rosaleen. T. Ray told me one of the men that attacked her, I think his name was Franklin P-something, was the biggest racist in town and that he'd kill her!
I didn't know what to do, but then, I noticed the bees finally left the jar. I need to leave my jar too, and I need to take Rosaleen with me. I need to run away.