Ch. 9 Lily - A real Family

Today I came back to the main house to see Rosaleen and May have a water fight with the hose. They were having so much fun that August and I both joined in. June came out, grumpy as usual, and tried to pry the hose from my hands, but she ended up joining in the water fight too. I had so much fun. It almost felt like we were a real family :)

Ch. 8 Lily - a prayer

Tonight I prayed to the Black Marry statue, there's something that just feels so comforting about it. I prayed to Mamma too, I need all the help I can get, my insides are a mess right now. :(

Ch. 8 Zach Taylor - Step by step

I finally have my own law book, I know it's just the first of my large law library. With this book, I'm one step closer to becoming a lawyer! Things seem to be looking up for me.

Ch. 8 Lily - Longing

I went with Zach to the office of Clayton Forest today. While Mr. Forrest and Zach were talking in his office I spotted a picture of him and his daughter, they looked so happy, I wish my family had been like that...So feeling down, I did something stupid, I called him.

I can't believe I was stupid enough to do such a thing! He started yelling at me and demanding to know where I was. I asked him if he even knew what my favorite color was but wouldn't answer my question, I honestly doubt he knows. He threatened to hurt me when he found me, I hung up after that.

What have I done?

Ch. 8 Zach Taylor - Rumors

There's a rumor that a white a movie star is coming to this town with his black girlfriend to see a movie. If it's true, the town'll be a little tense, but this could be good for Lily and me.

I guess I'll just have to hope it's true!

Ch. 8 August Boatwright - A talk

I told Lily that I needed to speak with her, I think it's about time the truth came out and I think she knows it too.

Ch. 8 Lily - Freedom

Today I helped August apply labels to the honey jars, we talked about all sorts of things.

One thing that stuck me in particular was when I asked why she had never married,she said she hadn't wanted to lose her autonomy. I think it would be nice if i could marry and still maintain my freedom. I wonder if that's really true, do you lose your freedom when you get married? 0.o

Ch. 6-7 Lily - A world of possibilities

I told Zach the other day that I wanted to be a write and today he brought me a journal to write my thoughts and stories in. He also said that society will never let us be together. I'm in love with him.
I've realized that story telling provides a way to get away from the harshness of reality, you are free from anyone else's control when writing. I'd like to write a story where Zach and I could be happy together. Perhaps if we wait long enough it will happen in real life too.

Ch. 6-7 Lily - Seperation

Rosaleen told me she's moving into the main house with May :( she says it'll make May feel more comfortable, but I'll miss her. I feel a little like she's abandoning me, even though I know she's not...

Ch. 6-7 Rosaleen - Head in the Clouds

That girl is living in a fantasy! What does Lily think she's doing? This new life may all and well be good right now, but it wont stay like this forever. What if her father comes looking for her? What about when the Boatwright sisters finally learn the truth or our circumstances? She's already cavorting around with a black boy, she'll never be able to have anything with him, it just wouldn't be accepted. That girl has her head in the clouds! She'd better come down soon or she may be in for some real trouble.

Ch. 6-7 Lilly - Getting to know Zach

Remember that boy, Zach, who August said would be helping with the bee farming? Well, I finally met him ~<3

He's a highschool junior, and he's African American, he wants to be a lawyer. He makes me feel things I've never experienced before, and I think I might have a crush on him. We've become good friends, working in the Honey house together.
I've started calling him an ass-busting lawyer as a nickname :)

Ch. 6-7 Lily - A Black Religion

Today I met for the first time the Daughter's of Mary, Augusts religious community. They're made up of six women and one man who wear these incredible hats, it kind of makes me laugh that there's a male daughter xD The service focused on the Black Mary statue and there was lots of singing and dancing and praying out loud. At one point, everyone took turns touching the painted heart of the statue, but when my turn came I was just so overwhelmed, I'd never experienced anything like this, that I fainted. It was kind of embarrassing...

Ch. 4-5 Lily - The racism in me

I never realized I was a racist too.
I'd always assumed that I was naturally smarter than African Americans, that they were all uneducated like Rosaleen, and that because I was white I was more intelligent, but then I met August and June. August is an educated business women, nothing like what I had thought blacks could be.

I'm starting to think that the color of your skin has nothing to do with your intelligence.

Ch. 4-5 Lily - Some Secrets are necessary

I've been thinking about it, and I've come to realize that lying isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes a secret is used to protect you, or someone else. I kept the box of Momma's stuff from T. Ray, he probably would have thrown it out if he'd known I'd had it, and then I never would have read the address on the back of Momma's picture and made my way to Tiburon. Like wise, I had to tell that lie to August, she might not have let me stay if she knew that I'd runaway from home and helped Rosaleen run from the law.
At the Boatwright house we also try to keep bad things that happen a secret from May, otherwise they'd hurt her.

So I've come to the conclusion that not all secrets are bad, and that sometimes, lying is necessary.

Ch. 4-5 August Boatwright - A Lively House

It's been a week since we three sisters had two unexpected guests show up on our door step. The extra company has been nice, a change of pace :) Lily's lying to me about why she's here, but it's ok, I was once her age too, sometimes we just need to work things out by ourselves.

June seems a little Apprehensive, but I'm sure she'll come around.

Ch. 4-5 Rosaleen - Jealousy

Lily's spending so much time with August now. I'm happy for her, but at the same time I wish it was me instead. Am i jealous? I didn't know I cared that much,before I was the only one Lily could turn to, but there are other kind people in her life now. She's no longer as dependent on me, her world is expanding and I'm not the only one in it anymore, I'll just have to get used it.

Ch. 4-5 Lily - Nostalgia

I can't help but wonder if T. Ray misses me even a little...I like the Boatwright house a lot, and I don't want to go back to Silvan, but I can't help but miss it a little, it is where I grew up after all.

Being around August has also made me think of my mother again,it's like her absence is wound that'll never close, I miss her terrible tonight. I guess I'm just feeling a little nostalgic tonight.

Ch. 4-5 Lily - Everyone wants to be loved

This Friday was wonderful :D August taught me all about honey farming. She told me that I should try to send my love to the bees, because everyone needs and whats to feel loved. I guess those, Bees are a little like me then.
She also told me that females make up the bee community about 90 percent of the time. Bees are so amazing, I never would have guessed that. I guess women can make up strong communities too:)

Ch. 4-5 Lily - Starting work

I'm told I'll be helping August and someone named Zach with beekeeping I'm really excited! It feels like those bees I captured in that jar what feels like forever go, were leading me here, like a glimpse of what was to come. It just feels right. I also feel better helping out, I don't want to impose on the sisters' kindness. Rosaleen is also going to be helping May with the housework.

Ch. 4-5 Lily - A Strange Household

I’m still getting used to living here. Life’s so different than it was with T. Ray. Remember how I told you I thought May was odd? She gets even stranger. She sings Oh Susanna whenever she’s upset, which is a lot of the time 0.o August explained that May has a “condition”, that she feels the pain of everyone else and the world as if it were her own, and so she’s usually very depressed. She even has her own wall, it’s a therapeutic crying wall. There was also a fourth sister named April, but she committed suicide, I wonder if maybe that’s impart why May’s so odd. They also practice a religion that’s part catholic part made up, one of the only big differences is that Mary is portrayed as an African American. Despite its oddities, I like this house, I feel at ease here.

Ch. 4-5 Lily - Feeling Self-conscious

It’s been a week since we started staying here, I’m feeling more than a little self-conscious about my skin color, I’ve even heard June make remarks about it. It’s odd being the only white person in the household. The News on TV is constantly talking about the desegregation happening all over the country, I’m happy, but it’s just another reminder of my race and the terrible things white people have done to blacks. Hopefully I’ll get over this soon. Has anyone else felt this way? Please leave your story's below :)

Ch. 4-5 Rosaleen - Irritation

Ooohhh. That girl! I love her to pieces, but she's so reckless! Why did she lie? We found that August Boatwright she was looking for, and in her infinite wisdom, she told August some story about how we'd runaway after he father had died in a traffic accident. We could get in so much trouble! Now somehow we're living with them. I don't even understand how all of this is happening, it still seems unreal.

And she keeps speaking for me like I'm not here! I can do my own talking thank you very much. In reality, I'm not really even her made anymore, she shouldn't be speaking for me :k It's so irritating!

Ch. 4-5 Lily - The Start of Something Big!

I found the Boatwright house. It’s painted pink and Ms. August is a bee keeper. Three sisters live there. There’s August who’s really nice, June who seems a little harsh, and May who seems a little odd…

I lied to them and told them Rosaleen and I had runaway after my father had died in a tractor accident, I feel kind of guilty, and I think August may know I’m lying, but she offered to let us stay. I’m so excited! I can just feel this is the start of something big.

Rosaleen seemed a little irritated at me again.0.o

Ch. 2-3 Lily - A New Life, a Sign, and an Old Wound

I finally told Rosaleen, why we’re heading to Tiburon, we got into an argument and we parted ways. I hope she’s ok by herself. She said I didn’t think about her when I made this decision, but I was, I have no idea what she’s talking about! -I ran into Rosaleen again last night, we bathed in a river together, and it’s as if the water washed away all of our negative thoughts, our past lives. We’re no longer mad at each other.

Today I was looking for a sign, something to guide the beginning of our new lives. In a general store I noticed these honey jars with the same black Mary figure on them as the one in my mother’s picture. The clerk told me they belonged to a women named August Boatwright and that she lived on the other side of Tiburon. I’m going to seek her out. This was more of a sign than I could have asked. T. Ray was wrong, my mother is definitely watching out for me in heaven.

T. Ray hasn’t reported me missing yet in the papers, I wonder if he ever will? It’s a good thing that no one’s looking for us, but it still hurts…

Ch. 2-3 Lily - Confusion

I finally told Rosaleen, why we’re heading to Tiburon, we got into an argument and we parted ways. Now we're both walking around in the middle of a forest alone. I hope she’s ok by herself. She said I didn’t think about her when I made this decision, but I was, I have no idea what she’s talking about!

Ch. 2-3 Lily - A narrow escape and a hopeful destination

I went to the jail to break out Rosaleen, but then I found out those awful men had been let into the jail and had beaten her even worse than before. It seems I was right to be worried. I’m pretty proud of myself, I tricked the guard with a fake phone call and together we slipped out of the hospital. On an old picture of my mother there was a black Mary statue and Tiburon, South Carolina on the back, I’ve decided that’s where we’ll go. We’re hitch hiking on route 40 right now. I hope we’ll get there safely, I also hope Rosaleen doesn’t get mad when I tell her where we’re going…
Wish me luck!

Ch. 2-3 Lily - Escape

I'm worried about Rosaleen. T. Ray told me one of the men that attacked her, I think his name was Franklin P-something, was the biggest racist in town and that he'd kill her!
I didn't know what to do, but then, I noticed the bees finally left the jar. I need to leave my jar too, and I need to take Rosaleen with me. I need to run away.

Ch. 2-3 Lily - That Jerk!

I got into an argument with T. Ray. He started yelling at me after we got home from the jail and I told him momma would protect me, but he laughed and told me that there was no way she would ‘cause she’d already abandoned me when she died. His words hurt…but I won’t believe him, Momma loved me, she must have. Why is he so mean?

Ch 1. Rosaleen - Injustice

Those white men! Always acting like pigs and getting in the way! I went into town to register to vote again and three white men come up all smug like and start taunting me. Well, I wasn’t having none of that and spilled some chewing-tobacco juice on their shoes. Then, instead of registering, I got put in jail! Poor Lily had to come too. They also beat me up pretty bad and I’m stuck in the hospital. They were in the wrong! Will the injustices of this world never end?

Ch. 1 T. Ray - Stupid Daughters

My stupid daughter! I found her last night asleep in the orchard, I just know she was out there with a god damn boy. Well, I know she won’t go against me again, I made her kneel in dried grits until her knees bled. It really is an effective punishment. She keeps pestering me about her birthday too, don’t I already do enough for her? She’s an ungrateful retch. Does anyone else have a daughter like this? If so how did you get her out of your hair? Methods of discipline are also welcome below.

Ch. 1 Lily - A strange anxiety????

I watched the signing of the civil rights act today on T.V. today with Rosaleen. She seemed so happy, and I wanted to be happy for her too, but somehow I can’t help but feel anxious. I wonder why…

Ch. 1 Lily - Unfinished Business

Yesterday I finally caught those bees in a jar, I was so excited, but today I decided I would let them go. But when I opened the lid, the bees wouldn’t leave! Perhaps they have some unfinished business with me :p

Ch. 1 Lily - A painful memory

I couldn’t help but think of my mother today. She died in an accident when I was four. T. Ray says I was the one who killed her, I can’t remember what happened all too well, but I’m sure what he said is true. I won’t tell you what happened though, I don’t want you to think badly of me…Thinking of her has made it a hard day, I miss her, it’s hard not having a mother…Luckily I have Rosaleen.